When I read the news that you had been crowned homecoming queen, I thought, “things are changing for the better.” This would have never happened at my high school, but I am about 10 years older than you are, and didn’t have the courage to transition in high school. When I watched this video, I couldn’t help but to feel like I needed to say something. My words may not mean much to you. I am not 16 and trans. I am not a MTF, and I’m well aware of the fact that MTFs often walk a harder path than FTMs. That said, your story is part of my story in this grand gender narrative, and I feel like I would be doing an injustice to you by not reaching out.
Yes, it is hard, and the world can be a mean and cruel place. The internet is even crueler. People in the internet have anonymity that they don’t have in the real world, so they say cruel things without having to take the responsibility for what they have done. That said, I am 10 years older than you, and have seen the world shift so dramatically in that short time towards more acceptance of trans folks. The people who went down this road before me (and you) paved the way for us to be who we are publicly.
The fact is that you ARE a queen and it seems like the folks at your school love you enough to see that. You’re a brave, tender soul who, though strong, needs support. You need to be held up sometimes, and that’s OK. You have support, not just from the folks at your school, but from so many people who admire your courage. Right now, it may seem like you’re only hearing from the idiots who are shouting loudly, but I’ve seen your story across the internet and I can tell you that it’s effecting a lot of people in good ways.
There are hard days. There are days where none of it seems worth it. There are days where getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. But there are days where the sun shines on all of the beautiful things, and you face the world with a lion’s courage. In 10 years, maybe it won’t be as big of a deal when a trans kid wins homecoming queen or king because you will have helped to change the world into a place where that doesn’t matter.
By all means, cry. Feel your feelings. When you’re done, go back to being the fierce girl that you are. Don’t let the idiots win! You have so much to give.
Solidarity and Grace,