A Letter to My Friends in Times of Loss

My dear friends,

I’m writing you this because many of you are grieving. Lost parents, lovers, friends, mentors, children, homelands, senses of self and assumed safety. You have lost, and now you are feeling some sort of response to that loss. This is my love letter to you. This is my way of saying I see you. Let this be the letter you keep under your pillow to keep nightmares at bay, or the one you carry with you for strength. Let the words sink into your grief and reduce you to tears. Let it outrage you and make you want to throw things because how dare I presume to write to a large group about something as particular as grief. However it works, let it work on you, because the thing about love letters is that they are true, even if that truth is a hard one to bear. Love is not easy nor is it always fun. It’s powerful though, and that power can be enough to propel you over mountains. I love you, and it pains me to know that I cannot personally comfort you all. We might not have reached that level of friendship, or we might live far from each other. Maybe you just prefer to spend those fresh, raw moments alone. Maybe you only want company when you’re at your best. Whatever the reason, I love you. I love you despite those reasons. In some cases, I love you because of those reasons. I love you, and I’m thinking of you as you adjust to your “new normal.”

You will never be the same person you were before, but like a river cutting through a canyon this wound will carve you anew, revealing sides of yourself that you never knew were there. You might redefine your sense of self. You might reach a new depth in your strength. Hell, you might even decide to shirk your current life path to pursue that passion you abandoned or reduced to a hobby because your grief is teaching you that life is short. Indeed, life is short. We are given small amounts of time on this planet to love a lot of people. It might seem like there isn’t enough time, but I hope that doesn’t stop you from continuing to love. I hope it lights a fire within you to love more fiercely because you see that every life is a death waiting to happen. That each moment we have together is precious. If anything, I hope you continue to love because life will be harder after this. You might need that love to get you through to the next day. Continue reading “A Letter to My Friends in Times of Loss”